The other day a friend posted this article on Facebook: “Generic Love”. It’s quite an entertaining read. 🙂 It probably isn’t meant to be taken too seriously, but I think for me it does touch on quite a profound point and has really got me thinking.
Everyone has particular ways of expressing love, which tend not to change for different recipients. The relationships that stick for more than a few months are not marked out by a different amount or quality of love, but simply work because the individuals’ generic ways of expressing love happen to match. This seems to be the main point.
Another way of putting it might be that we thrive best with people that make us (and our mashed potatoes 🙂 ) feel sufficient. If you feel lacking in some way, if being with the person makes you feel needy or inadequate or unappreciated or drained, then obviously that is going to kill off the enthusiasm. Or slowly turn you into a nervous wreck or whatever. 😀
And what interests me is that the same could be true of other situations, like jobs for example. It’s a bit of a revelation to me. What if my generic ways of working do not match 90% of a job, leaving me feeling woefully insufficient? Should my considerable success in the 10% obligate me to exist in this miserable state of affairs? Don’t I deserve a job in which I can thrive on a personal level and not just in terms of output? The lovely thing about the relationship anecdotes in the article is that they paint the whole business of breaking up and moving onto someone else in a very matter-of-fact, dispassionate way. People probably do that all the time. No agonising, no over-analysing, no desperately swimming against the current trying to make it work out… just a shrug and an “oh well… next please!”
I am just left wondering why I swim against the current so hard in so many ways.