Introverts are powerful

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Introverts attract validation junkies. I say this not primarily as an introvert, but as a validation junkie. 😀

Introverts typically are seen as very intriguing, and their quiet thoughtful depth can make their approval or interest in you feel very validating indeed.

People who, in just a few devastating words, can cut incisively to the core of an issue with a staggering clarity, seem to garner an especially high level of respect and deference. They are economical with words but when they chime in, people listen. These are the people that have most often triggered my insecure need of validation. I have put them on a pedestal and performed a merry dance for the scraps of attention I craved that they occasionally deigned to throw at me. Yes, they are very powerful!

I think once or twice I may even have held a similar position for other validation junkies, people less introverted than me. But I did not get that at the time. I felt bewildered by the attention, and if the person was trying to impress me, they overshot massively. Because of course there is something powerful and dominating about extroversion, too. I often feel powerless around extreme extroverts, to the extent that I’m even sometimes tempted to think my quietness is taken advantage of by them. So it doesn’t tend to occur to me that they might also feel powerless around me.

If you need validation, you are likely to look for it from an introvert, but unlikely to ever really feel validated for very long. They are too cool. They don’t gush, and in most of these situations they probably haven’t got the slightest idea that you even need anything from them.

I think very many of us don’t recognise how powerful we are!

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3 responses »

  1. lolz, I cant believe I linked to this blog, and then saw this comment, right after I basically wrote an essay in response to “can men and women ever just be friends?” about my hig degree of introversion and whether this may actually benefit me in some way, as well as explain why I don’t really have an issue with having lots of female friends…;) (at the very end I did say that perhaps I’m a bit cocky in thinking that it’s beneficial and that my subtlety, and thinking more than “saying”, are advantages.) and I obviously have put a lot of thought into it, not because it’s something that preoccupies me, per se, it’s more just my mind has certain topics it will think about in “leisure time”, it defaults to things like “why is it I feel like it many ways I meet more of the masculine stereotypes than most men do, but also find it easier to become close friends with women, like most gay men do? Maybe I’m really secretly gay? *imagines some random naked woman* nope… this makes no sense!” hahaha….

    but “validation junkies”? :/ lol I’m kind of a commitment-phobe in a way, I have a fear of my own tendencies, or at least what I see to be tendencies, to be shallow and place too much emphasis on sex (case in point re: the stereotypes…?) so I don’t want to commit to someone exclusively when I can easily see my eyes travelling elsewhere… 😛

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